Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Dragon's Pride

An old scrap that I later reference in one of the chapters of Dragon Slaying. Enjoy :P
What do bad furry fetish authors do when they get bored? Write bad furry fetish poetry, apparently :P

I scribbled something this afternoon that's totally bizarre, but I figure if you're strange enough to enjoy the bizarre things I usually right, well, you might enjoy this too. What follows is complete nonsense, but I like to pretend that the things I write have 
some semblance of a plot behind them, so:

This is a children's rhyme sung by the dragons in the northern reaches, who live in a matriarchal society in which males are subservient to females. Both sexes spend most of their time in the nude, and as a result sexuality is in no way taboo in northern dragon culture. The male gonads, in particular, are seen more as playthings than anything else: females are taught from a young age to kick, punch, slap, and otherwise abuse the testicles of males for their own amusement and pleasure.

The rhyme below is about ballbusting in general, but it's also more specifically about mating. During the northern dragon mating ceremony, one of the male's testicles is popped, to show his dedication to the female and to prove that he has not been mated before (if he had, he'd only have one nut left). This is often a long, drawn-out process, with the female abusing her male's balls over several days until she finally takes mercy and destroys one, consummating the mateship. If the male is ever unfaithful, the female is entitled to crush his remaining nut as she pleases and thus leave him a eunuch, unable to mate again.

And now, on to the craziness:

Dragon gonads, make him squeal!
Stomp 'em flat beneath your heel!
Watch him quivering in pain
As he tries so hard in vain
To save those precious dragon eggs
That hang defenseless 'tween his legs.
Crush those fragile orbs once more
and listen to his frantic roar!
His dragonhood is black and blue,
so pop a nut! He wants you to.

Squeeze those orbs between your claws,
or chew them: use those mighty jaws
and show him what those teeth are for!
Drop that dragon to the floor!
Bash his aching balls around
until he crumples to the ground,
then swat those orbs a solid smack,
or slam a kick into his sack.
Just crush those unprotected jewels
and listen how that dragon mewls.

Smash his gonads into paste!
Pop 'em both? No, that's a waste.
It's better still to leave him one,
so he'll remember all the fun
that you had bashing up his nut:
the ache deep in his scaly gut
as his ball cracked beneath your blows
and finally burst between your toes.
His gonad flattened with a 'splat':
I promise he'll remember that!

And that way he'll still have one orb:
one swollen sphere left to absorb
a female's slaps and stomps and knees,
her brutal kick and vicious squeeze.
He still can help a dragoness
relieve some of her pent-up stress
by offering his tender egg
for her to squish and make him beg.
Even with one nut, just one kick
can make the strongest dragon sick.

But if he ever goes astray
and gets horny while you're away
and blows a load on some girl's tits
he can say goodbye to his bits.
Just grab his ball and do your worst
until you feel that gonad burst!
Bite and swallow in one gulp,
or grind his nut into a pulp.
Let him know his dragonhood
has finally been destroyed for good.

Every male dragon has his junk:
those dragonmakers full of spunk
that dangle so defenselessly,
just waiting for a female's knee.
So slam your foot into his stones
and listen to his tortured moans.
A male's proper place, you see
is curled double in agony,
so watch now as that dragon falls,
your toeclaws buried in his balls.


  1. The poem was awsome, but the content... I'm a guy and all I can say is yikes

  2. The poem was awsome, but the content... I'm a guy and all I can say is yikes

  3. Yeah, none of the stories on this site are particularly...guy-friendly. Fetishes just don't make a lot of sense :P