Also: MLP ballbusting snippet (Doctor Whooves/Derpy/Weeping Angels)

The world needs more My Little Pony ballbusting stories/art! Here's a little something to contribute.

* Never thought I'd be writing this sentence. Doesn't mean it's not true, though!

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“Whatever you do, DON’T BLINK.”

“What are you talking about, Doctor?” Derpy kept one eye trained on the stone pony, the other swiveling lazily to look at her companion. “It’s just a statue.”

“Only while you’re looking at it.” The stallion’s voice was taut with tension. “This is a Weeping Angel. As long as you look at it, it’s quantum-locked, frozen in stone...but the second you look away, it strikes.”

“Well then why aren’t you looking at it?”

The Doctor grimaced. “Because there’s another one behind you.”

“What?!” The mare turned with a start–

Thump.

Oh Celestia. The Doctor fought to stay focused on the Angel behind Derpy, even as tears formed at the corners of his eyes and nausea blossomed in his gut. “D-Derpy?” he croaked weakly. “What did I just say?”

“S-sorry, I...” The pegasus turned to face forward once again, her eyes widening in surprise. “What the hay? D-Doctor, the statue, it–!”

Just a moment ago, the stone pegasus had been all the way across the room, standing serenely. Now it was directly behind the Doctor, in a much more dynamic pose: balanced on its front hooves, with both rear hooves lashing out into the poor stallion’s groin. Even now, the male’s hind legs were suspended about an inch off the ground. Derpy winced as she realized where the bulk of his weight was resting.

“I-It moved, yes.” The earth pony’s voice was a few pitches higher than usual, and strained with effort. Gingerly the male scooted forwards, exhaling in sudden relief as the statue’s stone legs slid out from between his thighs and his coltmakers dropped back into place. His own legs quivered beneath him, barely supporting his weight. “Now would you please keep an eye on this thing before it does any more–”

Thump.

“Ohhhnngghhaaa!” The male’s eyes narrowed to slits as another crushing blow struck home, driving his testicles into his pelvis with all the strength and precision of Applejack during applebuck season. Agony exploded outwards from his groin, gripping his entire lower body. The stallion fought to keep his gaze locked on the other Angel, even as images of broken eggs and cracked walnuts danced at the edge of his vision.

His left eye twitched. “Derpy, I thought you were looking!”

“I am, I am!” The mare looked sheepish, and more than a little panicked. “But you know, with my eyes, I can’t...sometimes I can’t really focus on one spot, you know? It’s a medical condition!”

The Doctor groaned, his eyes watering.

“If we get out of this,” he squeaked, “I am taking you to an optometrist.”